Some people call it the Big Apple, some call it the Naked City, some call it the Great White Way…but I call it by another name that more aptly describes what happens here.
Toto we are not in Kansas anymore. OMG! Thank goodness I have not lost anything in NYC because I do not ever plan to return to this cesspool of humanity.
Of all the days in all the world we could have picked to take a 10 year old boy to NYC, we picked the day of the National Gay Rights Parade down Fifth Avenue! Just the three of us and two million of them. You my dear readers may have seen some things in your life but never have you seen what we saw. Today our little Alex became a man. When he returns to school the mere mention of this day will likely get him suspended.
Well I guess I have to share it no matter how repulsive the telling is. We walked to the train station for Alex’s first train ride. I should have realized it was going to be bad when the two women seated across from me began to kiss and fondle one another. Thank goodness Alex was on a row behind me and could not see but he could hear all of them celebrating the day and then another lesbian couple came in to announce they were married and one had on a t-shirt that said BRIDE they all went crazy. OMG!
Arriving at Grand Central Station it was apparent that tens of thousands were arriving by the hour in costume and ready to shove it in our faces. Here is one of them.
We were troopers and headed on foot to the Empire State Building as they were lining Fifth Avenue 5 deep to await the parade. The only saving grace was that with all the weirdos outside watching the parade, the lines inside the ESB were almost non existent and we went right up.
Now this was impressive. Just like in the movies except in the movies people were not stacked 5 deep to see over the edge. Here are some shots and speaking of shots we added another shotglass to our collection with King Kong hanging on the rim.
Leaving the ESB we needed to eat and get to Ground Zero to visit the memorial by 1430 when we had reservations. This would later prove impossible. We ended up at a chicken place and I made a classic mistake. My father used to say do not go to a fish place and order steak, so while Jan and Alex went with chicken I ordered a fried pimento cheese sandwich. It was a great concept that did not translate well onto the plate but I ate it anyway. $29.71 for one sandwich, kids tenders and four wings. I could not live long here even if I liked the place.
Fooled you too? This is not a woman.
Weird but friendly guys.
The Little Mermaid. Ain’t he sweet.
She is sweet! Alex wanted to linger here. The view from the other side was spectacular so we hustled him along.
A real man’s man!
Back out on the street we struggled toward the general direction of Ground Zero. At every turn we were confronted with a new perversion. Alex saw another naked woman and this time got a top view. He also saw some women that were actually men and some that could not decide what they were. We soon discovered that even the PD in NY do not know where they are and cannot give directions. As a result we bounced all around and could not get where we were going because of the #*!% parade. No matter how hard we tried we could not find a way to cross that parade route which seemed to split NY in half. So what could we do? It seemed the only way to get across was to march in the parade and work our way across to the other side before exiting. There is a picture I took from the middle of the street. So now you have heard it all. Not only did we go to NYC on Gay Pride Day but we marched in the parade. The end is near.
No matter how fast we walked that last 3 miles I knew we would never make it on time and we did not. But we saw a lot of the city we would not have otherwise encountered. It was 1500 when we got to Ground Zero and we were totally whipped. I have never known Jan to give out and usually she walks me in the ground, but even she was wiped out.
Somehow the Lord took pity on us though and they let us in. Of all the things I thought would be a waste of time this was right up there until we got inside and looked into those two great pools of ever flowing water going into a seemingly bottomless pit surrounded by a rim carved with the names of all the dead. It brought it all back and made me think that we were not harsh enough or encompassing enough in our response to this attack. They did no less to us than the Japanese did at Pearl Harbor and you know what we finally did to stop them.
LOOK CLOSELY at the last picture above. CLICK on it and explore it. We were standing at the South Tower Memorial when Jan said look up. I did and quickly snapped this photo. The building in the center is the new tower that is almost as high as it will go. That tiny speck in the niche formed where another building behind it appears to touch it is actually an airliner that appears heading into the building just like on 9/11. Eeirie!
There is a tree, a Callery Pear, inside with a fence around it. It is called the Survivor Tree because with everything falling within yards of it, somehow it lived and had put out new growth. That tree should be declared a national monument.
After Ground Zero we went to the gift shop and then stopped in at an Irish Pub. We got a cold beer and Alex got a ginger ale. I wanted some rosemary scented stew but it was too early to eat. I truly believe that was the best beer I have ever tasted. Then we found out how to catch a subway back to Grand Central and after stepping over a score of homeless derelicts we caught one. Another first for Alex. Never rode a subway but has eaten countless ones. 🙂
Our return trip by train was uneventful because all the revelers stayed in town to party all night. That boat never looked so good and we ate aboard. Poor Jan was in bed asleep by 1900.
People, I declare that America has now officially gone to hell in a hand basket while we all stood around and watched. If I had a sign that said “the end is near” I would have carried it today through the streets.
Tomorrow I will give you Alex’s tour of NYC from a 10 year old’s perspective.
Postscript: the big mystery building was a Baptist Church of all things and Grant’s Tomb is next to it. Fred and Bill got it right. Now if we can only find out who is buried in Grant’s Tomb we will have solved a riddle of the ages.
If you noticed that I shaved you knew it before anybody else on this boat. I shaved at 1400 Saturday and neither of them have said a word. Can you believe it?